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    December 01

    鬼迷心窍

          乐符盘曲在疲惫的脖颈,勒得人窒息,每个毛孔都无所事事的尽情接纳着肮脏的细菌,繁杂的念头矛盾着四肢。我却平静着躺倒在床上...屈服了。挣扎只会让额角的血管胀得更紧,毛孔开的更大,四肢更加扭曲。
          鬼迷了心窍,摧毁着我的坚持,掠夺着我的执着。我无力的...被撕扯着。指甲摩擦玻璃的凄厉,炒勺敲击锅底的尖嚣让我的神经紧缩进而抽搐...
          我依然躺着,平静着...这是惩罚。

          睁开眼,这是在哪?明亮而空旷的地下车站,洁净的地面映射着头顶整齐的灯光,紧紧关闭的玻璃保护门对称出另一条同样的走廊,不知是通往哪里...

          蒙住眼睛,踏上笔直的盲道,从这头走到那头,从那头再回到这头...

          我期待着什么,又寻找着什么。箭头清晰的告诉我出口的位置,可我却出不去,哪里是我的出口,哪里又是我的尽头。

          望着玻璃那头那个酷似自己的人,微笑一下,闭上眼睛...这样也许他就无法再赤裸裸的注视着我了...

          就这样无数次的陷入彷徨,走进迷茫。过了这么多年,依旧重复着来时的路,是命运的安排,还是存心的捉弄。
          不知道什么是我的,不了解我要什么,遥不可及的有时是那么近,伸手即得的有时又那么远。不明白我站在中转站,异或已到了终点...
          鬼迷了心窍,可怕又充满诱惑,坚持替代了坚持,果断结束了果断。而我还是我,所不同的,我被鬼迷了心窍...

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